Channel To Channel

My eyes are kind of nauseous
I'm only using half my brain
I spent last night from channel to channel
In this great big land of freedom there's so many shows to choose
But then I sit and surf the dial
Until I see somebody nude

There's just a bit of tension here
My pulse at 88
I'm sitting in an easy chair
Fingers digging in my leg
I'm giving up this quick cut life
Just watch me walk away
Just give me a minute to see if there's something on HBO-Time

Chorus:

There's water on the walking stick
I'm sitting in the thick
There's water on the walking stick slapping hallelujah

I'm singing songs of instinct while I stare up at the sky
I step into an open hole of channel surfing lies
It's brighter than I pictured here and sharper than they said
Down the steel plated exit pole the reds are really red

I get everything they want me to
I'm the doctor of good buy
I touch the white tornado with a consumer winking eye
I dial 1-900 spend my money 'til it hurts
Mutual funds and sticky buns
My investment in dessert

Chorus

An infomercial bible man says he can cure my pain
From his Texas bible-belting Euro-Disney church of gain
From Hollywood, the boulevard to Galilee, the sea
There's a lot of syndication on the screen

2nd Chorus:

Tiny Jesus was amazed
Tiny Jesus has a lot to learn about being saved

It's an after school oasis for a camel and his boy
Out in the burning desert where they cable in the joy
With his box of holy twinkies and his channel changing crown
His mom is kind of lenient and his dad's been out of town

My eyes are kind of nauseous
I'm only using half my brain
I spent last night from channel to channel
I saw the future of the network news
(it's where I get my point of view)
The anchor was a high school girl
Topless and tattooed