THEY LOWERED THE BAR AGAIN

They lowered the bar again
The shit’s flowing further downstream
We’re dumber and dumber
Good looking and younger is the brand new American dream

I hear that you’ve got a new blog
You’re tweeting about your new job
You envy your daughter and you like drinking water and
You burp up your eggs when you jog
How did I ever exist before I knew how much you piss?
But your photo is hot on your profile
Honey, now come here and give me a kiss

They lowered the bar again
The shit’s flowing further downstream
We’re dumber and dumber
Good looking and younger is the brand new American dream

Look at these holes in my jeans
I bought them on Tuesday at lunch
I sprayed on my tan, like…you know…like…you know
I can text you on Sunday from brunch
About gossip and botox and you
Bikinis on housewives in boots
Vegans and pork eaters / I heart the dork beaters
Ask but don’t tell me your views

They lowered the bar again
The shit’s flowing further downstream
We’re dumber and dumber
Good looking and younger is the brand new American dream

Who is that guy on the bus?
Is he famous on TV or what?
I think he’s famous from TV but I don’t know why
But he’s awesome. That’s really enough
Being awesome is really a plus
I have “awesome” tattooed on my butt
But you knew that last week if you followed my tweet
My attention spans 1 or 2 ruts

They lowered the bar again
The shit’s flowing further downstream
We’re dumber and dumber
Good looking and younger is the brand new American dream

This newspaper looks like a website
All boxes and highlights and links
The top 5 news stories are fluff piece and sports and the top 7 places to drink
Jeopardy used to be tough / If I got 2 per show that was rough
Now “The blank in The Hat” makes them go to the mat
The answer is, “what the fuck”